Men tell me one of the hardest situations they face is when they shut down, especially when someone adds pressure or wants them to open up. It’s common to feel helpless, and ashamed when you don’t know how to recover. Today’s guest helps you understand why you shut down and how to recover.
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Show notes
Men often tell me about the moments they shut down. Sometimes it’s a freeze, or a blank feeling. Sometimes it’s confusion, or feeling disconnected from self or others.
Whatever the case, there is often a sense of helplessness and not knowing how to recover. And on top of that, many people tell me they feel shame about the helplessness. And while all humans experience this in some way or another, it’s hard to remember that you’re not bad or wrong when this happens.
On today’s Man Alive podcast episode I talked with David Khalil, LMFT, founder of Rouse Relational Wellness center in San Francisco. David talked about how he works with singles and couples when this happens.
In this powerful conversation we discussed…
- What’s happening when you shut down
- The 20 minute break that helps bring the nervous system back to calm
- What Bell Hooks’ “soul murder” has to do with men shutting down
- Why the tone of delivery can matter more than the content
- Unintentional vs weaponized shut down
- The most common questions David received when working at a sex shop
As a first-generation American born child of immigrants, and a member of the LGBTQIA+ population, David specializes in offering sex and relationship therapy, and education, for those in the margins.
Links:
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Bio:
David Khalili, LMFT, is a licensed sex and relationship therapist in California, and founder of Rouse Relational Wellness. As a first-generation American born child of immigrants and a member of the LGBTQIA+ population, David wanted to offer sex and relationship therapy and education for those in the margins. Rouse aims to help those with sex anxiety reach more accepting and loving views of themselves. They also acknowledge the heaviness of carrying intersecting marginalized identities in their clients, which is why the Rouse team comprises members of your communities.
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