Love can be a challenge. On this episode of Practicing Love, we delve into why it isn’t like fairytales and movies tell us it should be.
Show notes
Love as a feeling is delightful, expansive and nourishing. Most of us seek out this feeling.
Love as a practice, on the other hand, can be raw, scary, and humbling.
It’s not something my clients are initially excited about – until they realize that love as a feeling comes and goes. And love as a feeling isn’t something we can count on.
When you turn love into a practice, you make it possible to experience the good feelings of love, for longer.
The practice of love allows love to deepen and become more connected, rather than fade, fizzle, or implode.
The practice of love creates more moments of understanding, and fewer moments of conflict.
When I want to understand how relationships work, and what it takes to make love deeper and stronger, I look to people who have faced trials and tribulations, and who have learned from their challenges. My mentor, and friend Jed Diamond’s tagline is: Confessions from a twice divorced marriage counselor.
Jed has been married three times and is currently in a 44 year marriage. He has been a marriage and family therapist for more than 50 years, and is the author of 16 books, including Male Menopause, The Enlightened Marriage, Healing the Father Wound, and so many more. Jed writes regularly for his Men Alive community and is highly sought after for his expertise in supporting men.
Any time I get to talk with Jed it’s meaningful and important. I’m excited for you to listen. On today’s Practicing Love episode we discussed…
- Why Jed has gotten remarried every 15 years in his 44 year marriage
- The 5 stages of relationship (hint: they don’t include happily ever after)
- The power of redefining love in different life stages
- Why disillusionment doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship, and how navigating it consciously can create lasting love
- The expanded level of nuance in sex, and how to expand beyond the physical, especially as we age
- How to navigate the worry about loss of sexual functioning
- Getting to know your partner as a new lover day after day
- Offering support we didn’t even know we were capable of
- Communication as the key to navigating challenges
- The power of vulnerability to create stronger bonds
After Jed’s wife Carlin broke her hip, and then had a stroke, life radically changed for them. Jed has been a consistent example of using challenges to create more intimacy, gratitude, and love. I hope I can be as graceful and open as Jed is when I’m in my 80’s.
I hope you enjoy the podcast. When you’re done you’ll find more of Jed on my previous podcast: Man Alive.
This is Jed’s episode on relief for men’s anger and irritability
This is Jed’s episode on the Father Wound
This is Jed’s episode on what men need most these days
Links:
Connect with Shana James
Get a Free copy of Honest Sex: A Passionate Path to Deepen Connection and Keep Relationships Alive.
Whether you’re dating or in a relationship it shows you how to take the self-doubt, struggle and shame out of your love life.
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
Connect with Dr. Jed
Bio:
Jed has a masters degree in social work and a PhD in International Health. In 1968, he founded MenAlive to be a health program that helps men live long and well. Though focused on men’s health, MenAlive is also for women who care about the health of the men in their lives. His passion in life is to support men, and the women who love them, in eliminating the stresses that undermine their health and wreck relationships.
His mission with MenAlive seeks to help men, and the women who love them, successfully navigate the unique stresses of life in the 21st century, so that all our relationships can survive and prosper.
The economic and ecological changes going on in the world are unprecedented in human history. Everyone is impacted, but particularly men, and more specifically men over 40. His vision for MenAlive is to focus on critical aspects of men’s health and well-being. MenAlive is a safe haven in this time of transition. It offers time-tested resources to help you when you need it the most. It’s a place you can trust for yourself and your loved ones, a place we can all come together to share our experiences to help us weather the storm. None of us have all the answers, but together we can find our way.
He is a member of the Medical Advisory Board of Ro, The Patient Company. He is also associated with Riane Eisler’s Center for Partnership Systems and Good Therapy. He blogs regularly for The Good Men Project and Medium.
He’s the author of 16 books including the international best-selling Male Menopause and Surviving Male Menopause that have thus far been translated into 22 foreign languages. The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression, Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome, The Enlightened Marriage and 12 Rules for Good Men are also developing a world-wide readership.
His work has been featured in major newspapers throughout the United States including the New York Times, Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, The Los Angeles Times, and USA Today. He has been featured on more than 1,000 radio and T.V. programs including The View with Barbara Walters, Good Morning America, Today Show, CNN-360 with Anderson Cooper, CNN with Glenn Beck, CBS, NBC, Fox News, and To Tell the Truth. Jed has also done a nationally televised special on Male Menopause for PBS.
His wife, Carlin, and Jed live in Northern California. They’re proud parents of five grown children, seventeen grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren.
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