
Without healthy relationship role models it’s hard to know what we should tolerate in a romantic relationship, and what else is possible. And without seeing into others’ relationships it can be hard to know if what you’re doing is working, and will last. Today we talk about the vulnerability and joy of creating a unique relationship that works for you.
If you’re not satisfied with your love or sex-life, and could use some insights into what makes a person want more of you, tell me more about yourself here and we’ll schedule a time to talk.
Your Relationship Doesn’t Have to Look Like Anyone Else’s: Show Notes
Most of us don’t get to see inside others’ romantic relationships. We don’t see how they speak to each other, how they navigate household responsibilities and finances, what kind of sex they have…
I’ve had the unique perspective of seeing behind the curtain, and what I’ve seen has revealed that each relationship is unique.
Some start hot and fast. Others build over time.
Some hit a rough spot in the first few years.
Others coast for decades before something creates a need for reassessing roles or dynamics.
Some couples are vanilla. Some are kinky.
Some are monogamous. Some are polyamorous. (And some are monogamish.)
Some sleep in the same room. Others sleep apart.
Every relationship is unique but we aren’t given many examples of this, so it’s easy to worry that you may be doing something wrong if you need more space, more affection, a different kind of connection.
Today’s Practicing Love podcast guest, Kristal DeSantis is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Clinically Certified Trauma Professional, Certified Sex Therapy Informed Professional, EMDR trained clinician, and a State of Texas approved Premarital Education Provider. She is the creator of The STRONG model of Relational Therapy and is the author of S.T.R.O.N.G.: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man.
In this conversation we discussed:
- Conscious perspectives on dynamics between men and women
- How be vulnerable and relational with a partner
- How to get deeper than the surface fights, to actually heal and create connection
- When it’s time to shake things up and create a new dynamic
- Releasing ourselves from outdated roles
- What happens when people get lazy in relationships
- Letting go of the script that we are responsible for our partner’s happiness
- Co-creating relationship satisfaction
When Kristal met her husband, she was very practiced at being independent, and hadn’t had healthy relationship examples. She realized she needed to learn how to do relationships her way, without giving up parts of herself. We talked about a variety of challenging and inspiring ways she and her husband have navigated this. I highly recommend this podcast if you want to discover what a healthy, conscious relationship looks like to you!
If you didn’t yet see, I created a quiz where you can see what keeps you from having the best love and sex of your life.
Links:
Connect with Shana James
Best love and sex of your life quiz
Get a Free copy of Honest Sex: A Passionate Path to Deepen Connection and Keep Relationships Alive.
Whether you’re dating or in a relationship it shows you how to take the self-doubt, struggle and shame out of your love life.
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
Connect with Kristal
Bio:
Kristal DeSantis is a Texas Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Clinically Certified Trauma Professional, Certified Sex Therapy Informed Professional, EMDR trained clinician, and a State of Texas approved Premarital Education Provider. She is the creator of The STRONG model of Relational Therapy and is the author of S.T.R.O.N.G.: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man.
Her specialties include: Couples’ Therapy (including sexual desire discrepancy/ out of control sexual behaviors/recovery from infidelity), EMDR for trauma and PTSD recovery, PREPARE/Enrich Premarital Counseling, conflict and communication skill-building for high conflict couples, emotional regulation, and healing from attachment trauma. Her passion populations are high performing/self-identified hyper-masculine men and those who love them.
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble
License code: HDF76SDCD7O26RO5
Podcast (practicing-love): Play in new window | Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS
Leave a Reply