Beth, Author at Shana James Coaching

In a world where we spend a lot of time acting independent, or falling into codependence, there is another way. We can learn to evolve to interdependence and focus on Us, rather than only You or Me. On today’s episode, Terry Real discusses his new book: Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.

Show notes

Most people I know don’t want to be codependent, so these days many of us become independent and self-reliant. But what if we have gone too far?

On the spectrum from codependent to independent, there is a middle ground — interdependent. When we are interdependent in relationships we acknowledge the impact we have on each other. We work together to meet our needs (in a mature way) and grow.

We focus on Us, not only I or You.

How do we get our needs met together in relationships? How do we grow and learn simultaneously?

Today’s Man Alive podcast guest brings you answers from one of my trusted mentors. Terry Real has returned to Man Alive with his 30+ years of experience in the field of psychology. He is the founder of the Relational Life Institute, where he trains therapists to work with couples. He has written many books and his new book — US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship — came out this week!

I am honored to have gotten to discuss with Terry…

The importance of co-regulation in a relationship
The steps of relationship repair based in relational mindfulness
3 modes of negotiation we tend to use, and which ones actually create, rather than destroy, connection
5 losing strategies most couples engage in
The background question we silently ask our partners, often without realizing it

Terry has a no bullshit approach that is also full of love and compassion. He has helped thousands of couples heal and reignite love. When you’re done with this episode, check out our first Man Alive conversation on how to save your relationships with fierce love!

Links:

Connect with Terry Real

TerryReal.com

Connect with Shana James

Website: shanajamescoaching.com/3ways

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Bio:

Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage.

Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, established him as one of the most respected voices in the treatment of men and male depression. His expertise on men’s mental health and relationship issues have been featured on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, The Oprah Winfrey Show and in The New York Times, among many others.

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Show notes

We learn about how to think about and navigate money without even realizing it. We absorb the habits and decisions our caretakers made when we were young. Or we rebel against them. We cannot help being conditioned by impressions from the media and cultural norms.

Do you know how you relate to money? Is money a tool you use, or does money use you — creating stress and anxiety in your life?

Money can be one of the biggest stressors in our lives, but it doesn’t have to be. Today’s Man Alive podcast guest, Bob Wheeler, is a Certified Financial Planner who pairs financial wisdom with personal growth tools. He explores what it looks like to have a healthy relationship with money through his podcast, online course and book: The Money Nerve: Navigating The Emotions Of Money.

In this episode we discussed…

What the money nerve is

How you may sabotage yourself with money

What to do when you feel triggered by money

How to escape getting stuck in the Financial roles many men think they need to play

Money as the doorway to heal wounds and update limiting beliefs from your youth

It is never too late to clear up money blocks, especially if you find yourself stuck at a ceiling of how much money you make or save. When you’re done with this one, check out this episode on the surprising X factor to make more money.

Bio:

As a man of true integrity with infectious energy, Bob Wheeler’s crusade for personal growth has cross-pollinated with his accounting practice to create a new approach to personal finances. His passion is to help others gain insights about how their emotions trigger financial decisions. Combining finances with behaviors, Bob explores his personal concept of creating a healthy relationship with money in his book, The Money Nerve: Navigating The Emotions Of Money, his online course, Mastering The Emotions Of Money and his podcast, Money You Should Ask.

From his thirty years of helping clients, Bob has distilled a concoction of warmth, humor, information, motivation and budgeting directives that he offers to anyone with financial concerns. He is also currently the CFO for The World Famous Comedy Store. Bob’s world travels have led him to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, ascend to the Mount Everest Base Camp, and several smaller mountains in between. With charm and humor, his experiences on the road, in the office, or running a Greek marathon, feed his wit as a stand-up comic and financial motivator.

#229: Loving, Lasting Relationships Through the Power of Us – Terry Real

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#227: Get Free From Financial Anxiety – Bob Wheeler

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Beth

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