In this episode, we unravel why so many men stumble when articulating their desires and how this can lead to a fear of their world unraveling.
Listen here! – The Centered Coach
Don't Settle For Less
In this episode, we unravel why so many men stumble when articulating their desires and how this can lead to a fear of their world unraveling.
Listen here! – The Centered Coach
It’s not easy to bring up struggles, disappointments or frustrations in relationships. But have you noticed that when you don’t say anything, resentment can build while spark and trust fades? In today’s episode Tony Fonderson and I discuss how to communicate in a way that creates connection rather than breaks it.
When a date or interaction is disappointing, do you say anything?
Do you put off having conversations about challenging topics, or avoid having them at all?
What do you find scariest to talk about? Money? Sex? Desires? How you’re treated?
Many men never get the tools to make these conversations go well. But that doesn’t mean the tools do exist, and you can have the kind of conversations that make dates and relationships more connected, intimate and exciting.
On today’s Man Alive podcast I was joined by author and coach Tony Fonderson. We talked about how to communicate in a way that creates connection rather than breaks it. We give you tools to turn struggles, disappointments and frustrations into connection!
We discussed:
Tony gives you insights into how to have powerful conversations about sharing your truth in a way that creates more connection and passion!
Also, check out next week’s Essential Conversations to Build Sexual Confidence and Strong Connections w/ Women Masterclass. In this you’ll discover how to Clear the Past and Set Yourself Up for Better Love and Sex. This is important in both dating and relationships. You’ll learn to release the pain and upset women hold onto, that creates resistance or distance, and kills chemistry and desire.
I’ll show you how to help release old baggage, so a woman feels safer to open and explore with you. This is the key to creating a strong foundation for a new relationship and sex life, and for keeping your connection and sex alive. Most men are never taught to do this, and then suffer as a result, feeling like their love and sex life is out of their control.
Don’t worry if you haven’t attended parts 1 or 2. I’ll catch you up!
Connect with Tony Fonderson
Connect with Shana James
Website: shanajamescoaching.com/3ways
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
Tony Fonderson is a father, friend and valued guide whose natural talent is interacting with people in ways that they get the insights they need to solve deep personal problems. The son of an African diplomat, Tony grew up in multicultural environments and by the time he was 22, he’d lived in 6 different countries, had two engineering degrees, and spoke 4 languages fluently.
Tony was first introduced to the world of personal development after walking away unscathed from a near-fatal car crash with his two-year-old daughter. Although physically unharmed, he was deeply troubled by what was revealed to him during his brush with death, and this emerged to be a pivotal moment in his life.
His cosmic wake-up call led him to embark on a 20-year quest studying how life, love and relationships work, so that the next time he faced Death he could look back on a deep, rich, and meaningful life. His journey of self-discovery led him to understand that to create powerful, intimate partnerships, you must first understand who you are, and also understand what’s really going on behind the scenes.
The way Tony blends science, languages, psychology and culture makes him a sought-after source of guidance, wisdom and expert advice in matters of the heart, mind and soul.
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Getting older doesn’t mean you have to lose power, meaning, or fulfillment. As the seasons of life change, you can continually discover and create yourself anew. Today’s guest, Randy Spelling, guides you to more freedom, success and happiness, even as you age.
Are you struggling with finding meaning, excitement or vitality as you get older?
At any age, getting older can be challenging. There are physical, emotional, psychological, and relational aspects that can knock you off course, and cause you to question what you’d taken to be true. The older you get it also becomes easier to be jaded, hopeless, fearful, complacent…
But this doesn’t have to be your path. As you age, you really can continually grow and evolve, becoming more fulfilled, not less! You can find freedom from expectations, “shoulds”, and predefined roles. You can step into more genuine and inspired versions of yourself, in each season of your life.
When you lose track of who you are, it doesn’t have to be a crisis. Today’s Man Alive Podcast guest, Randy Spelling, a Holistic life coach for entrepreneurs, creatives and business owners, talks about aging without losing yourself. Raised in Los Angeles, Randy was born into one of the most well-known families in the entertainment industry, the Spellings. But he didn’t find happiness or fulfillment there, so he did the work of finding his unique path and sense of purpose, and becoming a teacher, speaker and author.
In our rich conversation we discussed…
Randy is a soulful man who values depth and growth. He is a great example of a man who doesn’t shy away from the hard parts beneath the surface, and who continually finds purpose and meaning in his life. When you’re done with this episode, check out this episode on the power of finding your purpose.
Connect with Randy
Connect with Shana James
Website: For men over 40 who want the best love and sex of their lives
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
Life Coach, Author and speaker, Randy Spelling is the head of Randy Spelling Coaching. Growing up in one of Hollywood’s most famous families, he witnessed first hand that money and fame do not create freedom or happiness – but our daily choices do! Using his natural intuitive abilities and 16 years of coaching experience, he helps people see the choices they didn’t realize they had so they can transform themselves to create more freedom, success, presence, and happiness in their lives!
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One of the biggest consequences of bypassing, or avoiding, the darker parts of yourself, is that people will often feel less trust, respect and attraction for you. Shadow work is a powerful way to gain access to your power, to intimacy and ease in relationships, and to greater levels of success and impact. Today’s guests talk about how to reclaim parts of yourself you’ve left behind, or have never accessed.
It is common for experiences that are happy and light to be more desired than experiences where there is upset or darkness.
This makes sense, since the latter tends to feel less enjoyable, or even painful.
If we avoid painful experiences, however, we run the risk of checking out of our lives, and disconnecting from ourselves and others. A term often used for this is “bypass.” And when we bypass what can be seen as negative (feelings, fears, desires, etc.) there are consequences. Some of the consequences can be feeling depressed or anxious, and people tend to have less trust, respect and attraction for us.
On today’s Man Alive podcast, I talked with two men who facilitate men’s groups and Shadow work. Jason Lange and Dr. Luke Adler support men to welcome the full range of themselves. Rather than bypassing, or leaving parts out, they encourage men to explore and reclaim parts of themselves they’ve left behind, or never had access to. Any expression or emotion that was shut down in your family system can leave you numb or cut off from yourself, which is disempowering. It may be surprising, but you can tap into your power and attractiveness through accessing the shadowy parts of yourself.
In our deep and important conversation, we discussed..
Jason and Luke are great examples of men who are doing their own work to be better dads, partners and citizens of the world. I trust their wisdom and life experience and think you will find this episode incredibly valuable. When you’re done with this one, check out this episode on moving past shame and into sexual freedom in your relationship, with an awesome relationship consultant and writer, Jordan Gray.
Also, keep an eye out for part three of The Essential Conversations to create sexual confidence and strong connections with women, especially for nice guys. The class in December and you can join whether or not you’ve attended parts one and two.
Connect with Jason & Luke
Connect with Shana James
Website: shanajamescoaching.com/3ways
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
Jason:
Jason is a men’s embodiment coach, group facilitator, and evolutionary guide. He helps men drop in and wake up to deeper clarity in their life’s purpose and relationships. He believes every man should be in a men’s group for the growth and support opportunities they provide.
Jason applies an integral framework to all the work he offers, drawing on many disciplines and modalities to effectively serve. He has trained with John Wineland, Dr. Robert Glover, Jun Po Roshi, Tripp Lanier, Ken Wilber, Brother David Steindl-Rast, and Robert Augustus Masters. His flagship online program, Pillars of Presence, is a 10 week bootcamp he co-leads, for men ready to transform their dating lives from the inside out.
Outside of men’s work, Jason is also a filmmaker and is blessed to be married to his amazing wife, Violet, who coaches women on love and femininity, and father to his amazing daughter Ruby.
Luke:
Dr. Luke Adler, (Doctor of Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine) DACM, is an intuitive and compassionate healer, teacher and author who empowers clients with the tools to heal themselves. At his retreats, trainings and during 1:1 sessions, he creates an environment for you to make contact with your inner wisdom and innate healing intelligence. He facilitates deep relationship with your self which extends into relationships with your loved ones.
He helps people uncover and translate their experience of love into meaningful actions that make a difference in the world. Luke has a gift of placing his attention on different aspects of your mind, body and spirit for you to awaken to what’s not working and allow love to facilitate healing. With over twenty years of meditation experience, he is a gifted teacher of various healing and spiritual practices for the novice and advanced practitioner.
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