This feels pretty vulnerable, but I really am going to let you in on my dating life. The experiences I’m having lately are SO applicable to your having the dates, sex and relationships you want with women that it would be selfish of me not to share them.
Relationships
Fundamental #5: How to use awkwardness to create spark and attraction!
Awkwardness doesn’t have to kill attraction or connection with women. Learning to to ride waves of awkwardness can actually make it one something that creates hotter, more connected interactions with women!
The thing about being human is… It’s awkward!
Men and women alike are awkward, self-conscious creatures.
Because we don’t have the luxury of seeing cartoon inner-dialogue bubbles over each others’ heads, it can often seem like women “have it all together.”
You’d probably laugh (though maybe you’d feel very relieved) If you saw my inner dialogue in my many awkward moments:
“Will what i just said make him lose his interest in me?”
“I don’t know what to say next.”
“Where do I put my damn arms so I look (and feel) relaxed?”
“Do I have food in my teeth or boogers in my nose?”
“Does my belly look big?”
I am a pretty confident, self-loving woman. I spend time around incredibly confident, self-loving women. I haven’t met one woman who doesn’t feel awkward or doubt herself!
The difference between now and ten years ago is that I don’t take it so seriously. You don’t have to either!
When you take your awkwardness seriously, this is what happens:
Moment of awkwardness –> Oh god what did I just do!? (Taking it seriously) –> (I shouldn’t have said that.) Self-criticism –> Freeze, fumble or say “fU#& it” –> The moment passes and you’ve lost the connection
When you relax and accept your awkwardness as part of being human, this is what happens:
Moment of awkwardness –> Recognizing and accepting that I just felt awkward –> Saying ” I just felt awkward” or taking a deep breath or laughing (Acknowledge awkwardness light heartedly) –> More connection with a woman, sometimes even revealing a spark that hadn’t been there!
Fundamental #5 in the 10 Fundamentals of Attraction Most Men Never Learn is: Embracing awkwardness dissolves awkwardness
If you’ve been taking your awkwardness seriously, see what it’s like to start to experiment with being more accepting and light hearted with it. Or start asking other people (especially women if that’s who you feel stuck with) if and when they feel awkward. It is much easier to feel ashamed of being awkward when you assume no one else feels that way, so do a reality check!
Let us know how it goes or ask questions here on the blog.
There are some ways you can express awkwardness that create more connection and some that don’t. HOW you share makes all the difference. When you learn the rest of the 10 Fundamentals of Attraction Most Men Never Learn you’ll understand exactly how to use awkwardness to create attraction. I cover these fundamentals in Authentic Magnetism. Learn more here! It’s half price for a few more days.
What makes a woman want you before you even speak!
I looked at a photo of a man the other day and I felt a rush of pleasure through my body. He was about 15 years older than me and not even my type. But oh my god I literally felt the presence in his eyes and the aliveness in his body!
I’ve had this feeling happen in person too, sometimes before I even saw the man, my body started to buzz with turn-on. When I turned around to see who was causing my body to light up, it wasn’t necessarily the hottest man in the room, but it has always been a man who emits not only strength and presence, but also care and humility.
Sadly, I don’t experience this very often. But what that tells me is you have the opportunity to blow the socks off of some fantastic women!
I’m not talking about playing a game with women. When you are opening women’s hearts and bodies, before saying a word, it means you are tapped into the most powerful, impactful, loving parts of yourself. You are tapped into and believing your own amazingness. You are living your life aligned with your deepest values!
In the last ten years I have had hundreds of men do a “silent approach exercise” with me. In 5-20 seconds I feel a range of feelings and sensations in my body — from fear to frustration, to dullness, to excitement, to turn on! There is so much more happening than “chemistry.”
So how is it that you can have such an impact before you even speak?
Everything you do, choose, think about and feel adds or detracts energy from your body. In every interaction you are a conglomeration of how you spend your time, the actions you take and the way you relate to yourself. Your body communicates with the people around you, even when you aren’t using words.
It’s actually quite simple when you think about it this way…
The better you feel about yourself → the less inner dialogue you have about what she may not like about you → the more able you are to relax and interact with a woman in a way that is playful, passionate and connected.
The more your choices align with your values → the less you shrink back out of shame or self-doubt → the more forthcoming you are with your honesty, your desires, and even your sensuality.
The better the connections you have with friends and family → the less you need the woman in front of you to fill something that’s missing in your life → the more you can enjoy the unique moment you’re sharing with a woman, without forcing it.
It’s not a tactic for getting women to like you. It just happens to be what has women genuinely and wholeheartedly want to be with you.
If you want more on women feeling drawn to you before you even open your mouth, in all phases of interacting with women, check out Authentic Magnetism.
As you interact with people this week, start to explore how you feel when there is silence. When you learn to shift from wondering whether you’re saying or doing the right thing, to relaxing and enjoying the woman across from you (on a first date or the 50th year of your marriage), you help women sink into their bodies. Their minds slow down. Their bodies turn on. Women start to realize they can’t feel the way they feel with you on their own. And they want more!
Let us know how it goes and ask questions here on the blog.
With love,
Shana
Authentic Man Experiment: The Unbreakable Wall of Attraction
In his quest to find authentic love, Damien Bohler took sex off the table, and started a relationship with a woman he felt emotionally connected to… But something was still off.