Some say we are outgrowing marriage and long term relationships. But the real issue is that many of us have not matured enough to create the emotionally-connected, sexually-satisfying relationships we long for.


Honest Sex teaches us what kind of honesty is effective for creating closeness, what sex actually is (rather than what we've been taught), and how to communicate desires and upsets to create more intimacy. By examining new ways to sustain connection, author Shana James illuminates a framework for relationships to start strong and get more intimate and exciting over time.

What Reviews Are Saying About Honest Sex

Shana James is like your best friend, blended with the Dalai Lama and Dr. Ruth. Honest Sex is warm, wise and funny. It will help you create not only the sex life you want, but the rich relationships you need for true happiness.”

-Ed Frauenheim, co-author of Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection

“As a marriage and family therapist for more than fifty years, this is the book I've been waiting my whole career to give to my clients. I'll be telling everyone I know to buy three copies—one for yourself, one for your partner, and one for the friend who has been waiting for honest sex all their lives.” 

— Jed Diamond, PhD, author of 12 Rules for Good Men, The Enlightened Marriage and other titles

Honest Sex is a delightful read and an important contribution to understanding how to enjoy deeply fulfilling sex and intimacy. I will be recommending it highly to my friends and clients.”

— Susan Campbell, PhD, author of Getting Real, From Triggered to Tranquil, and other titles

“This is an honest book by and honest author who honestly describes the complex parts of my life with more clarity than I can! Honest Sex can permanently improve how we show up in our relationships.“

-Steve Horsmon, Men’s coach and Founder of Good Guys to Great Men and author of Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband

Check out Chapter 6 (What Is Sex Actually?) for free to see if Honest Sex is for you!

“If you only read one book to help you with your relationship life and sex life, let it be this one! Honest Sex covers EVERYTHING you'd need to contemplate, be aware of, and learn to ensure a deep, dynamic and pleasurable relationship and sex life! It is a modern, multidimensional, and accessible roadmap to the areas of life we care about the most, and often know the least about!

— Alicia Davon, co-founder of the Davon Method 

“Radical honesty is rare. And when it comes to sex and intimacy, truth telling can be the secret to liberating our capacity to love and live well. Shana knows this and shows us how. She demystifies the path to genuine pleasure and nourishing connections — fundamental human experiences we all deserve.”

— Sarah Marshank, author of Redefining Being Self-ish: My Journey from Escort to Monk to Grandmother, and Selfistry: A Guide to Embodying Timeless Spiritual Wisdom

“From my thirty-five years as a therapist, I can say Shana James is the real deal. Her understanding of relational struggles and the potential for inspiring human connection, along with her willingness to practice what she preaches, makes her a trusted guide.”

— Terrence Real, Founder, Relational Life Institute, New York Times Bestselling author of US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship and other titles 

“I am touched and inspired by Shana James’ intelligent, nuanced, and compassionate investigation of honesty as the cornerstone to passionate, engaged relationships. Her writing is clear, conversational, well-researched and grounded in years of professional practice. As a feminist, I appreciate her brave & vulnerable sharing of her own experiences, bringing light to why we shy away from being honest with our partners, in the bedroom and elsewhere.

The chapters' short (achievable) writing exercises deepened my understanding and led me to personal revelations. This book is about so much more than sex and delivers profound gifts. You won't regret this read.”

— Suiko Betsy McCall

Honest Sex has three parts:

Section 1:

How to Use Mature Honesty to Create and Sustain Connection & Passion

Section 2:

Sex Beyond A Limited Cultural Definition

Section 3:

Tools to Strengthen Communication and Deepen Intimacy

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You can get a FREE GIFT with the purchase of my book!


36 Questions for Better Sex and Deeper Intimacy

Step one:
Purchase Honest Sex

Step two:
Get your receipt number and

About the Author...

Shana James has a Master’s in psychology, as well as DISC and Positive Intelligence certifications. As a relationship coach for 20 years, she humbly discovered the cause of disconnection and distrust in relationships, as well as how to build trust and keep passion alive. Shana has facilitated decades of Authentic Relating workshops based on her training in communication, mindfulness, psychology and sensuality, and specializes in helping clients date and create healthy relationships after divorce. Shana is the creator and host of the Man Alive podcast and has a TEDx Talk, 'What 1000 Men's Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men and Women.' Her first book is Power and Pleasure: A Man's Guide to Becoming a Confident and Satisfied Lover and Leader. 

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