With 47 years of research and the ability to predict with 90% accuracy whether couples will stay together or separate, Dr. John Gottman has learned what makes love last.
Show notes
These days relationships are as likely to fall apart as they are to stay together.
It’s sad and I am constantly on the look out for relationship resources to make relationships stronger.
This week I found something you can do to make a relationship last that’s actually really simple!
Sure, there are parts of relationship that are complicated and take time and attention to address, but two well-respected psychologists, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, recently came out with a new book that shares the incredible benefits that come from having a weekly date night!
They have done 47 years of research and tracked 3,000 couples, over decades. They know what they’re talking about!
A date night in itself is good for a relationship but you get even more benefit (more intimacy, fun, passion, etc.) from a date night that’s created around one of eight topics that are essential for lasting love.
On today’s Man Alive podcast Dr. John Gottman joined me to talk about:
- The 8 most important conversations that help couples really get to know each other and navigate differences with care
- The importance of letting go of defensiveness in making love last
- How the simple act of having a date night each week could transform your relationship
- How common it is for couples tend to spend hardly any time talking to each other these days, let alone talking about their relationship
- Why it’s important to not shove your partner’s concerns under the rug — they will NOT go away!
The Gottmans have been a resource I have trusted for many years. I highly recommend checking out their books after listening to the podcast. If you’re in a relationship, or looking foe one, check out their new book first: Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for Lasting Love.
Links:
Order Eight Dates here.
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Bio:
Dr. John Gottman is world renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, John Gottman has conducted 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. His work on marriage and parenting has earned him numerous major awards, including:
- Four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards
- The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Distinguished Research Scientist Award
- The American Family Therapy Academy Award for Most Distinguished Contributor to Family Systems Research
- The American Psychological Association Division of Family Psychology, Presidential Citation for Outstanding Lifetime Research Contribution
- The National Council of Family Relations, 1994 Burgess Award for Outstanding Career in Theory and Research
Dr. Gottman was one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by the Psychotherapy Networker. He is the author or co-author of over 200 published academic articles and more than 40 books, including the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; What Makes Love Last; The Relationship Cure; Why Marriages Succeed or Fail; and Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, among many others. Dr. Gottman’s media appearances include Good Morning America, Today, CBS Morning News, and Oprah, as well articles in The New York Times, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Glamour, Woman’s Day, People, Self, Reader’s Digest, and Psychology Today.
Co-founder of the Gottman Institute with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, John was also the Executive Director of the Relationship Research Institute. He is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, where he founded ” The Love Lab” at which much of his research on couples’ interactions was conducted. John co-presents workshop with wife Julie Schwartz Gottman in Seattle.
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This is such a concise and helpful intro to Gottman’s work—especially the date-night focus and the “turn toward” concept. It really makes relationship building feel doable. Do you find couples often underestimate the power of consistent, themed date nights? Thanks for sharing these practical tools rooted in decades of research!