Ashlynn Allen Archives - Shana James Coaching

After divorce or betrayal, many people give up on love. But discovering what love really is, and how to create a loving partnership where you don’t lose or betray yourself, is one of the most fulfilling and growthful journeys in life. Ashlynn Allen helps you find the courage to experience what love can be, while you stay true to yourself.

What Love is When You Don’t Betray Yourself: Show Notes

While love can be exciting and rewarding, it can also be scary and painful. Most of us have been hurt in relationships in which love was supposed to be a core value.

It can hurt to stay in a relationship. It can hurt when we’re left. And it can even hurt to leave a relationship.

The way I see it, there is no escaping pain when we open to love. But as I learned to see love as a path of growth, I began to see that every relationship gave me a better understanding of myself, and of love. While this didn’t take the pain away, it dissolved the stories about what was wrong with me. This allowed me to digest the pain, so I could find the wisdom each relationship brought.

As my patterns became more apparent, it allowed me to make healthier and more conscious choices, and speak up about my needs and desires. In each relationship I’ve been in, I have learned to love better AND stay more true to myself.

On today’s Practicing Love podcast, I talked with Ashlynn Allen, a coach and mentor for women who have experienced betrayal, with a partner and/or themselves. Ashlynn faced both kinds of betrayals and took the risk to love again. In her current relationship, now in her 40’s, she says she discovered what love actually is!

In our deeply touching conversation about starting over and staying true to yourself, we discussed…

The incredible clarity that comes when you know what you want and need
How to share feelings in a way that can be heard and received
How to communicate deeper than “I feel like you…” (which is not actually a feeling)
What to do with the need for validation
How to get out of critical cycles
The stories we tell ourselves when we feel hurt by a partner
Tapping into the vulnerability beneath your surface complaints
Creating agreements that allow couples to support each other
What to do when you look at your partner and forget the love you share
The power of learning from divorce and breakups

As you listen to Ashlynn vulnerably speak about how she didn’t learn to feel emotions until age 34, and how she has wrestled with how to share her feelings instead of blaming her partner, I think you’ll gain compassion for yourself and everyone you have loved. Most of us were never taught how to create a healthy relationship. Ashlynn lets you in on how she is learning to stay connected, even in moments when she is tempted to blame her partner.

Here’s to you having the love life you want, and remembering that it takes practice.

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Connect with Ashlynn

ThisIsAshlynn.com

Bio:

Having seen many challenges in life, Ashlynn knows that joy is possible, even when life hasn’t gone as you hoped.

She co-hosted the TOP 10 Relationship Podcast The Betrayed, The Addicted & The Expert & now has her own show called This Is Ashlynn where she speaks to all parts of life. She mentors women, helping them move into better emotional & physical health after betrayal & divorce. She hosts online & in person retreats to help you move beyond life’s circumstances, and create the life you’ve always wanted.

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