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How to Access Your Power, Confidence and Clarity

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How to Access Your Power, Confidence and Clarity
Many of us are frustrated with our relationships. We’re settling for mediocre marriages that we don’t know how to revive.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Our relationships are not the problem.

The problem is that we lack the skills to make them into what they could be.

Today you will be empowered with those skills.

I help you understand what women love most about their men.

I teach you how to ask for what we need and what we desire without fear.

I also show you how to access our power, confidence, and clarity so that we can live truly extraordinary lives.

Listen to my interview with the Dad Edge Podcast

#195: Power vs. Strength – Justin Long

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For many men feeling powerful is important. This feeling of power, or a desire for the feeling of power, drives many actions and decisions. But what if the search for power is misguided? What if there’s actually something more “powerful” than power? Today’s Man Alive Guest takes us on a journey of exploring power and strength. 

Show notes

For many men it is important to feel powerful. It is often this feeling of power, or a desire for the feeling of power, that drives actions and decisions. But power can be confusing too. Power over others is different from power with others. A sense of internal power is different from external (or situational) power.

So, how can you be powerful in a way that is good for you AND others? Or might it be that the search for power is misguided?

Today’s Man Alive podcast guest realized that through his attempt to feel powerful, what he was seeking was not actually power. Justin B. Long, author of The Righteous Rage of a 10 Year Old Boy: A Journey of Self Discovery, brings a deeper look at power and strength through his personal struggles and breakthroughs. His mission is to make the world a better place by combatting toxically masculine ideas surrounding men and their emotions.

In our conversation we discussed:
  • Justin’s quest for power and realization that he was really seeking strength
  • How to detoxify masculinity 
  • A deeper understanding of what actually makes us valuable 
  • The necessity of self-awareness for success and intimacy
  • Justin’s journey through alcoholism and awakening to himself after decades of assuming he knew who he was

Justin’s honest and vulnerable reckoning around power vs. strength is an important listen for every man, or person. When you’re done with this one, check out another episode on how to ask for what you want without seeming weak or needy. Many men worry that asking for what they want seems weak to others, but this is not true! 

Links:

Connect with Justin Long

http://jboydlong.com/

Connect with Shana James

Website: shanajamescoaching.com/3ways

Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Justin B. Long is an author, business owner, and the host of the podcast Straight
from the Horse Doctor’s Mouth which he produces with his wife, Dr. Erica Lacher. His bestselling book series, The Adventures of the Horse Doctor’s Husband, has been enjoyed by readers all over the world. While his wife’s mission is to make the world a better place for horses, Justin’s mission is to make the world a better place for people by combatting toxically masculine ideas surrounding men and their emotions.

His current book, The Righteous Rage of a Ten-Year-Old Boy, is a raw, intense examination of his childhood, the traumatic events that formed his negative self-image, and his journey through therapy to overcome it all.

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#116: Healthy Anger Makes Men More Powerful – George Stoimenov

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powerful man

When a man doesn’t feel anger he is also cut off from his passion, power, determination, confidence and creativity. In this episode you’ll discover how to access and express your healthy anger.

Show notes

Do you feel comfortable getting angry?

Or do you stuff your anger and pretend things are ok when they’re not?

Or perhaps you explode and make messes you then have to clean up?

Most of us weren’t taught how to express anger in a healthy way. 

As I raise my child, I see how much fire and passion anger holds. It can be creative or destructive.

As a parent it’s not easy to know what to do!

Many men who stuff their anger were taught to be good, to not interrupt or get “out of line.”

Many men who make messes with their anger didn’t have a parental figure who was compassionate and skilled at helping them with their hurt and struggle.

On today’s Man Alive podcast episode I brought in speaker and men’s coach George Stoimenov to talk about this important topic, because when anger is out of balance you, and those close to you, will suffer.

George was born and raised in rural Bulgaria. From a young age he struggled to express anger and it nearly cost him his life! 

In this conversation we discussed:

  • The importance of having a “sword” and making sure it is cleared of shadow
  • What it looks like when a man’s anger turns inward into self-hatred
  • The pillars of Confidence, Presence and Character George supports men with
  • The freedom and lightness that comes with accessing emotions that have been stuffed
  • The compassionately challenging wake up call for the little boy inside you

Links:

Training for Men

For Men:  3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

George Stoimenov is the founder and main editor of Men’s Corner. Born and bred in rural Bulgaria, George has lived in Britain since 2009. He is a men’s coach and public speaker who delivers talks on various subjects related to masculinity and being a man.

George runs a life-coaching business exclusively designed to empower men and support them in stepping into their confidence, presence, character and the realization of their full potential.

Apart from his work with men in the United Kingdom, George has worked with, and spoken to, men in South Africa, Zambia, and his native Bulgaria. George and his family live in Eastbourne, East Sussex.


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#102: How to Be a Powerful Man (Without Ignoring The Boy In You) – Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz

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empowering man

This episode shows you what it takes, beyond confidence or bravado, to be a truly powerful man and to “grow up” your younger parts, rather than avoiding them or trying to get rid of them. 

Show notes

If you’ve ever thought about how to be more powerful as a man, this is a great episode for you to listen to! 

Many men think that to be powerful they need a lot of confidence and bravado. 

In my experience coaching men for 15 years, and seeing how women respond to them, this belief misses what’s really going on — andnot only with women, but with your own happiness and self-worth. 

While confidence is part of power(and it’s important to understand what confidence really is — which we’ll save for another time), there is much more going on beneath the surface that creates power or powerlessness. 

Some of it is surprising and might be really different than you’d imagine. It often takes embracing the younger parts in you, rather than avoiding or trying to get rid of them.

In this Man Alive podcast I was joined by Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz. He was dubbed by Newsweek as the “Man Whisperer” and has been a personal development consultant, working with men since 2002. In this conversation we discussed…

  • The four foundations of becoming a Powerful Man
  • Why your emotions and vulnerability are actually a road to freedom
  • The path to being interdependent, rather than codependent
  • Why it’s important to embrace the boy inside you and move through the trauma of younger years
  • How to meet life’s challenges with strength and courage, and not alone

The most powerful men I know are also the ones who are most willing to embrace and share all parts of themselves — their sadness, longing, anger, fear… You don’t have to get rid of any part of you to be stronger and more manly. 

Links:

Kenny D Cruz

Men’s Groups

For men:  3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz is the “Man Whisperer” (Newsweek) who helps men achieve their life, relationship and career goals. As a personal development consultant, Kenny runs workshops and sees individuals and couples for private consultations. He has been holding men’s groups in London and online since 2002 and now teaches a men’s group facilitator training workshop. His MenSpeak Charity will launch later this year. Kenny loves helping men (and women) gain the awareness and tools to consciously embody their potential and meet all of life’s challenges.

 

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5 Ways to Make a Better First Impression – Kathryn Griffin

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When thinking about your first impression, style is one of the first things people notice. In this episode learn how to use style archetypes to make a great first, and continuing, impression.

Show notes on going in style:

In this conversation we cover:

  • The 5 Style Archetypes that allow you to make a great first impression
  • How to use color, pattern and texture to support you to connect, gain respect and inspire others
  • Visual Congruency — How each man’s unique body, height, facial features, etc. come into play
  • How style can be the doorway to you being more effective and have a bigger impact in all areas of your life
  • The physical side of Shana’s metaphor: “Using someone else’s lines is like wearing someone else’s pants, that don’t flatter you!”

Bio:

Kathryn brings quite a level of expertise with fifteen years experience in visual communication and design. She holds degrees in both fine arts and sociology.

Having first started in landscape design, Kathryn had her own business in the East Bay Area in the nineties. She then worked as a freelance contractor doing interior faux finishing and color consulting.

Kathryn has worked in the retail industry as the personal stylist for Anthropologie. Currently, K Griffin Style sees private clients on all matters of personal and home style as well as teaches small group classes.

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K Griffin Style

Shana James Coaching – Learn the most important skill men who are professionally successful and have a fulfilling love life use every day

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Sex. Power. Desire. Danger? How to Be a Powerful Man.

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How to be a powerful man

Sex. Power. Desire. Danger?

Do you struggle with how to be a powerful man?

Why can some guys flirt without being offensive?

And what can you do if you’re strongly attracted to someone but afraid it’ll get you in trouble?

Sex. Power. Desire. In the wake of what’s been happening recently, more and more men are afraid their sexual turn-on is going to get them in hot water. But is repressing that desire the best way to deal with it? And can we learn how to own our sexual power without becoming a harassing, macho jerk?

Shana James spends her days helping men find real power to create better relationships, careers, and legacies. Today we’re going to discuss what’s possible for those of us who want to be an ally to women without living in fear.

How to Be a Powerful Man…

In this interview:

  • What makes good guys do bad things?
  • Why it’s not really just about sex
  • Is blaming/shaming/attacking going to make it better?
  • Why most men truly fear

Plus:

  • The key to finding real power
  • Being submissive or domineering to get what we want
  • Is it disrespectful to her if you get turned on?
  • The danger of stuffing your desire and feelings

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Become a Renaissance Man for More Freedom, Power and Pleasure in Your Life – Dale Thomas Vaughn

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Have you heard of a Renaissance Man? Good men are being demonized and demoralized by a single and limited definition of manhood that leaves out much of what it is to be a man. Dale Thomas Vaughn and I discuss a path to more freedom, power and pleasure for you.

[Read more…] about Become a Renaissance Man for More Freedom, Power and Pleasure in Your Life – Dale Thomas Vaughn

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Do This and She Will Love It!

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An amazing woman I’ve admired for a long time teaches women to orient their lives around their own pleasure, sensuality and joy.

She just wrote a book that is a Reclamation for Women. I’ll share about it below. But first:

What does women reclaiming their pleasure have to do with you?

When women take responsibility for CREATING a life of pleasure, rather than trying to GET IT from men or a relationship, they become much more fun, radiant and inspiring to be around.

I guarantee these are the women you think, “God, she’s gorgeous” Or “There’s something about her…” Or “I want a woman like this in my life!”

Women who reclaim their pleasure bring their lively, turned-on, appreciative, lovely selves to you! 

For Men:

So what is it for men? What can you bring to women (rather than trying to get from them) that creates a major shift in how much spark and pleasure you can have together?

What is it you can reclaim that has women more drawn and attracted to you — open their hearts and bodies with you?

It’s your POWER!

When you orient your life around your power, when you reclaim your desires, truth, clarity, self-respect and self-love you…

  • Stop holding back and Start standing taller
  • Stop apologizing for yourself and Start knowing what’s truly amazing about you
  • Stop questioning your decisions and Start discovering the part of you that can rest inside questions
  • Stop frantically trying to figure out what to say next and Start being guided by what the moment asks for
  • Stop chatting to fill awkward silences and Start listening deeper
  • Stop trying to prevent pain and Start stepping up to hold others when pain happens
  • Stop trying to get women to be happy and Start seeing their raw hearted, wild expression as beautiful
  • Stop seeing women as a way to get your needs met and Start creating only what is good for both of you

When you reclaim your authentic power not only do women want more of you, you become more excited about yourself and your life!

With or without a woman, life becomes more vital and interesting!

Reclaim Your Power

The first step to reclaim your power is to look at anywhere you feel stuck, confused, depressed or uninspired…

Get honest with yourself about what’s causing this. It may be an old belief, an expectation you’ve held yourself to, or thinking you don’t have a choice. You may be thinking someone else is responsible for your happiness or prioritizing someone else’s happiness over your own.

The more honest you are with yourself the better. From there you have the freedom to shift your choices and actions, to live in a way that inspires you.

If you’re not living as powerfully as you want to, there’s no time better than now! I believe in you.

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