If you’re like many men, you hold back or hide your tears. But doing so can make you feel flat, deadened and disconnected. In today’s episode, Shaun Galanos and I discuss why it benefits you to cry and how it can become safe for you to do so.
I have an odd but important question.
What do you do with your tears?
Do you avoid them?
Wipe them away?
Pretend you have allergies?
Are you aware that tears can flow through you or have you not cried in so long that you’re not sure?
Or maybe, you do allow your tears to flow?!
If you do, do you cry by yourself or do you also feel safe to cry with others?
I ask because your willingness to cry with others can be a great litmus test for how free you feel to be raw and honest with others.
And I’d actually love to know! (If you’re willing, please respond to this email and let me know what you do with your tears!)
Crying is of course not the only way to be emotionally vulnerable or close with others but if you’re not letting tears flow, there’s likely a part of you that is hidden or untapped, to yourself and others.
Today’s Man Alive podcast episode was a joint episode with Shaun Galanos of the Love Drive Podcast. His podcast is about helping people develop the emotional intimacy required to have loving and connected relationships.
We have a lot of similar views about relationships and some different ways of illuminating the same topics. I appreciate his laid back style and his willingness to be vulnerable.
In this conversation we discussed:
- Our initial personal reactions to men’s tears and what it has taken to learn to welcome them
- The benefits of crying with a romantic partner
- What women find scary about men’s vulnerability and how to ease their fears
- How you can become a safe person to cry with
- Why this world will benefit from more men who allow and share their tears
I’m very interested in this topic and how to create the cultural changes necessary to welcome and accept men’s vulnerability.
As I work on a TEDx talk, that I now know I’m going to give in January next year (Entitled: What 1,000 Men’s Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men and Women), I welcome hearing about your experience of crying and being vulnerable with others, especially with women!
Have women welcomed your vulnerability or have you felt the need to hide it? How much do you open up with others? What would you like me to know about your experiences with tears and raw truth?
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
Shaun Galanos is a certified love coach and host of The Love Drive podcast.
His mission is to help people develop the emotional intimacy required to have loving and connected relationships with themselves and others by helping people increase their relational skills, deepen their communication practices, and build their emotional intelligence to cultivate more intimacy with themselves and those around them.
When he’s not coaching clients or recording his podcast, he is playing with his dog, learning to love his partner, and building connection and community in Montreal.