Relationships endure breaks in trust – big and small. What does it take for a woman to trust you in the first place, or to rebuild trust when it’s broken? Our guest, Ashlynn Mitchell shares what helped her trust again after betrayal.
Show notes
Have you ever had the experience of a woman NOT trusting you, or losing trust in you?
It can be hard to stay open in the face of a woman’s response — anything from coldness or distance to exploding or expressing rage!
And while at times you may have been clear that your actions broke trust, at other times you may have been confused about what happened.
As dark as it may get, there are ways to rebuild trust (even if you aren’t clear what broke it in the first place).
Today’s Man Alive Podcast guest, Ashlynn Mitchell, coach and co-host of The Betrayed The Addicted and The Expert podcast, joined me to give her personal experience of what it took to rebuild trust in her relationship after a betrayal.
We discussed:
- The most powerful ways to repair a relationship when trust is broken
- “Rules of Engagement” that make a relationship more intimate and inspiring
- The foundation of being able to truly connect with your partner
- How listening, for real, allows a woman to trust you again
- Ashynn’s vulnerable truth about what it’s like to be a woman who wants to trust again but doesn’t know how
Building trust with women can be different from building trust with men. I highly recommend listening to this episode if trust is something you’ve struggled with in your relationships!
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Bio:
Ashlynn Mitchell has seen the challenges marriage can bring, and the joy possible on the other side of difficulties. After healing her own relationship, she launched a growing podcast — The Betrayed The Addicted and The Expert — with her husband and a therapist. She coaches women to help them find hope that an amazing relationship is possible, even after betrayal.
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This sounds like she was describing the traditional sex addict & co-addict recovery model, talking about being in their own lanes, no work on the relationship for 2 years. Was the abuse addressed that Coby committed against Ashlynn for all of those years in the marriage, and after discovery of the betrayals & affairs? Blame shifting, defensiveness are abusive in response to his actions. Her trauma, grief, and inability to express things was a direct result of those years of abuse by him. I do not feel the expert that they saw is addressing the underlying problems, and instead allowed the perpetrator to keep abusing without taking accountability for the abuse. Using the old model, where the victim has to show empathy for the continued emotional detachment of their abuser is not healing. Sex addiction and the emotional and psychological abuse that it always includes is not a two way street. There is a perpetrator and a victim. It needs to be treated as such, and that is how healing happens. He was selfish, he was abusive, and the children usually suffer too in this environment. The landscape is finally changing, but many families have been destroyed by ignorance and excused abuse. I hope this family can seek help from someone that is skilled in domestic abuse and trauma.