Getting sexual consent not only creates a foundation of respect and deeper intimacy, it allows for more and lasting passion!
Show notes
Many men tell me that conversations involving consent are awkward and frustrating.
While I’ve heard things like: “That conversation kills the spark,” and “It guarantees a woman won’t want me,” I have actually found that consent conversations not only create a foundation of respect and deeper intimacy, but allow for more and lasting passion.
I want you to have that! And to get to put down any facades or masks that end up exhausting you and keeping you from the love and intimacy you want.
In today’s replay of an awesome Man Alive Podcast episode with Michael Ellsberg, creator of The Consent Pledge, we discuss Michael’s journey from his younger days, dabbling in the “Pick Up” world, to being a man who now practices Affirmative Consent.
In this conversation we cover:
- The purpose of and inspiration behind “The Consent Pledge“
- How to build erotic tension in a genuine and respectful way
- Affirmative consent — why everyone wins when you put it into practice
- How to have consent conversations that don’t kill, and in fact ignite, the spark
- Michael’s history along with his courageous admission of having pressured women in the past
Michael gives a great example in a recent article of how he practices affirmative consent in a connection that begins to become sexual. He pauses to say something like:
“I’m attracted to you, and I want to feel free to express my desire with you. And I’m committed to you feeling totally safe and comfortable with me. So, if anything I do with you makes you feel even slightly uncomfortable, I want you to say ‘Stop’ or ‘Slow down’ immediately and I will.”
When I read this, I relax. I feel respected. My body actually softens and feels safe to open.
So, have a listen to this episode for more of Michael’s wisdom and a practice consent conversation we modeled that stays connected and exciting. Then I highly recommend signing the consent pledge. The link is included below.
Links:
Connect with Michael Ellsberg
Connect with Shana James
Website: shanajamescoaching.com/3ways
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Bio:
Michael Ellsberg is the creator of The Consent Pledge and the author of The Education of Millionaires: Everything You Won’t Learn in College About How to Be Successful (Penguin, 2011) and The Power of Eye Contact (HarperCollins, 2010), and the co-author of The Last Safe Investment: Spending Now to Increase Your True Wealth Forever (Penguin, 2016).
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