I recently got stuck in my friend's backyard!
I slept over at his house and woke up to go home early in the morning, before anyone was awake. So that I didn't leave the house unlocked I slipped out a side door that I could lock from the inside.
I walked to the gate that led to the driveway. Standing in front of it I had a moment of panic. It had a key lock. Oh Shit, I thought! I can't get back into the house or out the gate.
I looked around to see if there was any other exit. To my dismay the only way out I found was a narrow slit in the top of the gate. I thought that if I got horizontal I could slip through…if I could get to it.
Trying seemed like a better option than throwing rocks at my friend's window. So I stepped on a ledge at the bottom of the fence and hoisted myself up. I ducked my head through the slit of the fence and confirmed that I could fit my whole body through. I wasn't sure how I would get down but I knew I had to keep going.
As I shimmied down the other side of the gate and my feet touched the ground I was exhilarated. I felt lit up and proud of myself.
How does this relate to you and women??
Well, I know those first moments of approaching a woman can feel terrifying, especially when you're not sure how it will go, or if you'll "make it" to the other side.
But so many of my clients have reported that even if a woman doesn't say yes, reaching out and speaking, rather than holding back can be exhilarating in itself. It is confirmation of acting, rather than hiding behind fear or concerns.
When you do something you're not sure you can do, and you make it to the other side, there is often a feeling of accomplishment. There is often a sense of "That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be." There is often wisdom gained about what you'd do differently next time.
So, wherever you find your next "fence," try sticking your head through the hole ;). Even if it doesn't go how you'd ideally want it to go, taking action brings you a step closer to what you really want.
Shana,I found myself in this exact situation once! We — my then husband and I — were visiting some friends out of state. Sunday morning, they went to church — we opted to go sightseeing instead. We left after they did (early service), and when we headed out, I didn't want to leave the house unlocked, so we went out the back, and discovered the gate was padlocked! In our case, there was no option of knocking on a window since no one was home — we had to go over the fence. It was scary, but successfully reaching the other side was exhilarating.And as a woman who has asked guys out — inlcuding my current boyfriend — I'd have to say that climbing the fence was scarier than asking for a date. The worst thing a guy can do is say no. Climbing a fence, worst case senarios include talks with polic officers after neighbors call the police and trips to the emergency room after breaking bones. Asking for a date seems far less risky. (But good analogy nonetheless).