Whether you are looking to re-ignite passion in a relationship or start a new one, vulnerability is a cornerstone of being wanted and loved for who you really are. It also means less effort, strategizing or trying to get things right!
I know some men believe women like men who are assholes, who would never be vulnerable.
This breaks my heart because I’ve asked thousands of women and there’s something huge missing from this story.
Women like men who are clear, strong and powerful. But they also crave a man’s truth and vulnerability.
In addition, and I think even more importantly, when you are vulnerable you get to stop efforting, strategizing and trying to get things right! Which allows for much more pleasurable and meaningful experiences.
I recorded a podcast about vulnerability with Derek Hart, who has been counseling couples since 1990. His specialty is helping couples move through distress and back into connection. The principles he uses also apply for dating and even a first date.
In this episode we covered:
- Why you may be nagged at or complained to and what’s actually going on
- How to respond to complaints in a way that brings you closer
- The practice for decreasing fights from 3 hours in length to 3 minutes
- The best way for each person in a partnership to feel understood
- How vulnerability can turn around decades of fighting, distance and misunderstanding
Connect with Derek
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Derek Hart has been guiding individuals and couples for 27 years. To summarize the work of Derek Hart in one word, that word would be vulnerability. Vulnerability lies at the heart of what he teaches. Through guiding people in 5 countries, he has mastered his approach to teaching people exactly how to come back to honest communication. He does not simply teach from a template. He helps his clients locate the exact emotional struggle they’re having, and shows them how to express it by uniquely modeling vulnerability for them.
Derek helps creates new interactions for the couple, and makes suggestions about what they might say to each other. He taps into an intuition, a felt sense of what they have been scared to say to each other, and then supports them in their new communication. Derek has a special training program for women, and shows them how to deeply understand men, and how to talk to men in a way that doesn’t push them away. His unique approach is not an intellectual exercise only. He’s vulnerable with his clients, creates a deep relationship with each and every client, and clients feel seen, heard, accepted, and cared for.