Many people are afraid to be “needy.” But neediness is different from having needs. We all have needs and we have to learn how to communicate them, rather than getting stuck in guilt or shame for having them!
Show notes
Many of my clients come to coaching sessions with the fear of being needy. They do NOT want to act in any way that resembles neediness.
Why are we so afraid of being needy?
When we were young, many of us were shown that having needs pushes others away, rather than brings them closer. Our caregivers were our everything. So, when they were upset or unwilling when our needs did not match theirs, we learned to stop showing others our needs.
But, if we don’t allow ourselves to have and show our needs, we end up feeling empty, alone and unsupported.
Today’s Man Alive podcast guest, Kevin Nahai, is a sought after speaker and coach who supports people to create conscious relationships and have more personal fulfillment. We explored how to navigate needs, how to have needs without being needy, and what helps us stop worrying about being needy! In this powerful paradigm shifting conversation we discussed…
- Why most of us don’t like to ask for what we want
- That most of our needs are actually not unreasonable
- How it is easy to think of ourselves as needy when we are with someone incapable or unwilling to meet our needs
- The beauty of being in a relationship and giving someone the opportunity to meet our needs
- The relationship between needs and safety
Most of us don’t take the time to think about neediness in the way we talked about here. You can create a lot more freedom for yourself by listening to this conversation and rethinking how you approach having needs!
When you’re done with this one, check out this episode on how to ask for what you want without seeming weak or needy! This takes our conversation to the next level and gives you tools to communicate your needs with others.
Links:
Connect with Kevin Nahai
Connect with Shana James
Website: shanajamescoaching.com/3ways
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Bio:
When Kevin was 19 years old, he was suddenly diagnosed with an incurable disease of the stomach that caused him to be unable to eat. Almost overnight, he went from being a bright-eyed college Freshman to being completely despondent and incapacitated. In a flash he lost complete control of his life, and rapidly fell into a dark spiral of depression, anxiety, and severe anorexia. By age 20 he felt completely hopeless and helpless. Relationships were out of the question. While everyone around him was having the time of their lives, he was cowering in his dormitory planning a suicide.
After hitting this rock bottom, he made a major change. Fast forward after many years of deep work, he has transformed his life inside and out. I believe the final stage of healing is using what you went through in order to help others; so every day, He harnesses his experiences and teaches others how to improve their lives. Through practical guidance and actionable steps, he teaches how to love and respect yourself, discover your unique gifts, feel fulfilled, and create lasting relationships.
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