One of the biggest consequences of bypassing, or avoiding, the darker parts of yourself, is that people will often feel less trust, respect and attraction for you. Shadow work is a powerful way to gain access to your power, to intimacy and ease in relationships, and to greater levels of success and impact. Today’s guests talk about how to reclaim parts of yourself you’ve left behind, or have never accessed.
It is common for experiences that are happy and light to be more desired than experiences where there is upset or darkness.
This makes sense, since the latter tends to feel less enjoyable, or even painful.
If we avoid painful experiences, however, we run the risk of checking out of our lives, and disconnecting from ourselves and others. A term often used for this is “bypass.” And when we bypass what can be seen as negative (feelings, fears, desires, etc.) there are consequences. Some of the consequences can be feeling depressed or anxious, and people tend to have less trust, respect and attraction for us.
On today’s Man Alive podcast, I talked with two men who facilitate men’s groups and Shadow work. Jason Lange and Dr. Luke Adler support men to welcome the full range of themselves. Rather than bypassing, or leaving parts out, they encourage men to explore and reclaim parts of themselves they’ve left behind, or never had access to. Any expression or emotion that was shut down in your family system can leave you numb or cut off from yourself, which is disempowering. It may be surprising, but you can tap into your power and attractiveness through accessing the shadowy parts of yourself.
In our deep and important conversation, we discussed..
- A new definition of fearlessness and how to access true empowerment
- How to avoid a mid-life crisis
- Why not to avoid relationship conflict
- Moving beyond the “culture of cool,” where men are taught to be tough and impervious to weakness
- Shadow work as gateway to great sex and becoming sexier
Jason and Luke are great examples of men who are doing their own work to be better dads, partners and citizens of the world. I trust their wisdom and life experience and think you will find this episode incredibly valuable. When you’re done with this one, check out this episode on moving past shame and into sexual freedom in your relationship, with an awesome relationship consultant and writer, Jordan Gray.
Also, keep an eye out for part three of The Essential Conversations to create sexual confidence and strong connections with women, especially for nice guys. The class in December and you can join whether or not you’ve attended parts one and two.
Connect with Jason & Luke
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Jason is a men’s embodiment coach, group facilitator, and evolutionary guide. He helps men drop in and wake up to deeper clarity in their life’s purpose and relationships. He believes every man should be in a men’s group for the growth and support opportunities they provide.
Jason applies an integral framework to all the work he offers, drawing on many disciplines and modalities to effectively serve. He has trained with John Wineland, Dr. Robert Glover, Jun Po Roshi, Tripp Lanier, Ken Wilber, Brother David Steindl-Rast, and Robert Augustus Masters. His flagship online program, Pillars of Presence, is a 10 week bootcamp he co-leads, for men ready to transform their dating lives from the inside out.
Outside of men’s work, Jason is also a filmmaker and is blessed to be married to his amazing wife, Violet, who coaches women on love and femininity, and father to his amazing daughter Ruby.
Dr. Luke Adler, (Doctor of Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine) DACM, is an intuitive and compassionate healer, teacher and author who empowers clients with the tools to heal themselves. At his retreats, trainings and during 1:1 sessions, he creates an environment for you to make contact with your inner wisdom and innate healing intelligence. He facilitates deep relationship with your self which extends into relationships with your loved ones.
He helps people uncover and translate their experience of love into meaningful actions that make a difference in the world. Luke has a gift of placing his attention on different aspects of your mind, body and spirit for you to awaken to what’s not working and allow love to facilitate healing. With over twenty years of meditation experience, he is a gifted teacher of various healing and spiritual practices for the novice and advanced practitioner.