The 4 Noble Truths of Buddhist wisdom have not previously been applied to romantic relationships in such a clear and specific way. Susan Piver’s book brings us incredible hope for decreasing suffering in long-term relationships!
If you’re not in a relationship you likely want to be in one, which can be painful.
But once we’re in a relationship, we find they’re not easy, simple, or the answer to many of our desires and fantasies.
In or out of relationship, people suffer a lot because of them. I recently read a book about relationships that blew me away. It’s the manual I’ve been searching for — a simple, yet profound, book on how to navigate the struggles most couples face, in a more spacious and loving way.
Susan Piver, a Buddhist teacher and best selling author, who has been with her partner for 20 years, applied The 4 Noble Truths of Buddhist wisdom to romantic relationships and came up with The 4 Noble Truths of Love.
When there’s a conflict about money, time, affection, parenting, sex, etc., you can get caught in stories and theories or you can learn to engage with your partner with more mindfulness.
Relationships are unstable, Susan says. When we deny this (which I’ve seen many people, including myself, do) we experience more pain and struggle. Her wise-mind viewpoint offers a powerful framework for long-term relationships that, in my opinion, are more likely to last.
In this conversation we covered…
- How The 4 Noble Truths of Love (based on The 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism) can create more intimacy in your relationship
- How to see through the stories you have about your partner that keep you unsatisfied
- The difference between a love affair and a relationship — and what happens when we get the two confused
- The idea that there’s no wrong relationship, but there is more pain and struggle when partners have different desires and expectations
- Meditation and mindfulness as a path to decrease lashing out, blaming or isolating from your partner
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Susan Piver is the New York Times bestselling author of eight books, including the award-winning How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life, The Wisdom of a Broken Heart and Start Here Now: An Open-Hearted Guide to the Path and Practice of Meditation. Her latest book is The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships. Susan has been a student of Buddhism since 1993, graduated from a Buddhist seminary in 2004 and was authorized to teach meditation in the Shambhala Buddhist lineage in 2005.