Because pleasure is so enjoyable, it can be surprising to know that many people are afraid of, or have some kind of resistance to, pleasure. Overcoming the blocks to experiencing pleasure is something every man deserves! Today’s podcast guest focuses on showing you how.
Because pleasure is so enjoyable, it may surprise you to know that many people are afraid of, or have some kind of resistance to, pleasure.
Many of my clients have said:
Is it ok to feel that good?
Do I deserve to have this much pleasure?
If I feel pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, will I look or sound weird?
In my family, things were pretty tense. Our environment wasn’t often humorous or pleasurable. So, it took me a while to realize that it’s ok to enjoy myself.
What is your relationship with pleasure? Where do you block pleasure in your life? Where could you allow more of it?
Today’s Man Alive Guest, Cam Fraser, is a Professional Sex Coach, certified with the World Association of Sex Coaches, as well as a Sexologist, and the current Deputy Chair of the Society of Australian Sexologists. He has gone through his own journey of reclaiming his right to pleasure and becoming comfortable with his sexuality and sexual energy. He learned from many teachers in many traditions, including psychology, philosophy, massage, Yoga, Tantra (both Classical and Neo), sexology, and sacred sexuality in order to better understand his body, mind, and sexual self.
In our awesome and pleasurable podcast conversation we discussed…
- What makes talking about sex easier
- Framing male sexuality in terms of function instead of dysfunction
- Letting go of the idea that bodily exploration is weird, feminine, or gay
- Self-pleasure vs masturbation
- How to facilitate a woman’s orgasm, rather than see it as your egoic responsibility
Also, tonight is the last night of my free 3 day Master Class, focusing on how to have the best love and sex of your life after 40.
There are a few important skills I teach my clients that I’m sharing with you, so you can have the love and sex most men only dream of… love and sex that strengthens, rather than fades, as you get older!
The Masterclass shows you how to…
- Find the clarity that makes women drawn to you and want to get to know you
- Know what makes a great woman say yes — and ways to turn it around if she doesn’t
- Confidently access your desirability and use your changing body to create connection and intimacy like you’ve never had before
- Create a solid foundation for a healthy, supportive, and exciting relationship
Connect with Cam
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Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
Cam Fraser helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame. He is a Professional Sex Coach, certified with the World Association of Sex Coaches, as well as a Sexologist, and the current Deputy Chair of the Society of Australian Sexologists.
During my late teenage years, I had an uneasy relationship with my sexuality. Marred by insecurities and perceived inadequacies, I had difficulty fully connecting with my sexual partners. I relied heavily on alcohol to inhibit my fears regarding the expression of my sexual desires and cannot recall many times when I was sober during a sexual experience with another person.
I was overly concerned about my sexual “performance,” to the point where that anxiety affected my ability to get and maintain an erection when with a sexual partner or to last for a satisfying period of time – of course, the alcohol didn’t help with this. To compensate, I focused my energy almost exclusively on oral and digital sex, thinking that if I could make up for my lack of penetrative sex by giving my partners pleasure and orgasms by other means, it would take some of the pressure off me to “perform.” In a way, this worked. But in other ways, it didn’t.
I wasn’t dealing with the cause of my insecurities and dysfunction, I was applying a band-aid solution that temporarily masked the problem. This resulted in me actively avoiding sexual experiences and unceremoniously rejecting the advances of sexual partners. Eventually, this led to mental health issues.
Overcoming these things – becoming comfortable with my sexuality and sexual energy, becoming a confident yet vulnerable lover, becoming clear about my desires and experiences – took time. It wasn’t a “one pill quick fix” or “one weird trick” solution peddled by many “authorities” on sexuality. It took work. I studied psychology, philosophy, massage, Yoga, Tantra (both Classical and Neo), sexology and sacred sexuality in order to better understand my body, my mind, and my sexual self. I learned from many teachers, from many different traditions. And, it took me several years before I felt comfortable teaching others.