This conversation seems to fly by, and we get to a lot of places in it. From being present to life, to how women can better receive men’s vulnerability, naming the fear, the idea of regular check-ins for relationships, sharing impact versus interpreting intention, and allowing ourselves and others to grow and change.
sex
The Genitals Project: Healing Beliefs About Sex and Intimacy – Dr Hazel Grace
Many men carry a lot of shame about Sex and Intimacy, their sexual desires and performance. Dr. Hazel-Grace has created a way for men to find a deeper peace with themselves that makes more love and intimacy possible.
If you’re not satisfied with your love or sex-life, and could use some insights into what makes women want more of you, tell me more about yourself here and we’ll schedule a time to talk: shanajamescoaching.com/consult
Show notes
Are you ready for the edgiest Man Alive episode I think I’ve released?
As the way I support men evolves, I’ve been expanding from helping men have “hotter sex” to helping men be powerful and fulfilled in love, leadership, and the legacy they leave. This of course still includes sex, but places it in the larger context of life and relationships.
This episode may be edgy or strange for you to hear, but I think it’s important and has the potential to help you heal.
The conversation with Dr. Hazel-Grace, a Clinical Sexologist and a Sexological Bodywork Practitioner, is about a project she created called The Cock Project. She is inspired to support people who identify as male to heal, by sharing their experiences of sex, masturbation and even what it’s like to have a penis (something you probably often think about on one level and rarely think about on another). She is also inspired to put an end to sexual shame!
I attended her workshop and witnessed profound moments for those who shared. You don’t have to live with body shame. You get to be free to appreciate all parts of you!
In this episode we covered…
- A powerful path to ending sexual shame so relationships can be more enjoyable, heart connected, and passionate
- What many boys and men are NOT taught about sex from a young age
- How to break the code of silence men are unknowingly sworn to
- The healing that happens for ourselves and others when we share our vulnerable stories and histories
- The cultural gap Dr. Hazel-Grace is looking to fill with The Cock Project™ workshops
I think you’ll appreciate listening to two women who love men as we get real about the human experience, including our sexuality.
Let me know what insights and questions you have.
Also if you haven’t gotten your free Hot, Happy, Healthy Love & Sex After 40 Toolkit, make sure to get it now. It is only available until Sunday.
Links:
Connect with Dr. Hazel-Grace
Connect with Shana James
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
Bio:
Dr. Hazel-Grace is the founder of The Cock Project™, The Pussy Project™, and The Genitals Project™. She works with individuals and couples as a Clinical Sexologist and a Sexological Bodywork Practitioner to support them having the healthiest and most fulfilling sex of their lives.
Dr. Hazel-Grace is profoundly impacted by the amount of psychological and emotional violence that has been, and is currently, being done to men, women, and individuals across the gender spectrum. She recognizes that the world NEEDS healing and comprehensive sex education. She is an unyielding stand for the end of global sexual shame so that humans can experience heart-centered and empowered sexuality. One way she supports this movement is by bringing her workshops to cities across the nation.
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The Relationship School – Honest Sex
We explore the intersection of sex, spirituality, authentic relating, and creativity, and I offer my expanded definition of sex: Tune in to learn about co-creating a deepened honesty to enhance sexual and relational connection/gratification.
The Vulnerable Man Ep 063
We cover a lot of ground in our conversation, from what drew me to work with men, sex (obviously!), how writing my book impacted me, starting the conversation to create deeper intimacy, and taking the stigma out of talking about sex.
#252: Overcome Performance Anxiety – Alex Grendi
Performance anxiety is common for most men, but it can be a thing of the past. Today’s guest helps men overcome this anxiety by teaching tools for men to become better lovers and have more pleasure themselves in the process.
Show notes
Most men I talk to have some degree of performance anxiety when it comes to sex. Men tell me they worry about whether they will be able to last long enough and pleasure a partner well enough. They worry about whether their penis is big enough and whether they are man enough.
Men commonly have these fears and anxieties about sex. But you can actually be free of them. You aren’t stuck with these fears and insecurities for the rest of your life! And the more you learn to let them go, the better your sex life will be.
In our powerful and important conversation we discussed:
- What can take the place of performance anxiety
- Why you don’t have to feel a pressure to perform
- Ways to access more pleasure for yourself and a partner in your sex life
- Full-body and non-ejaculatory orgasms for men
- The role bodily tension plays and how to navigate it to have more and better orgasms
While I work with men on all the mental, emotional and relational aspects of a better sex life, Alex teaches the nuts and bolts of sex and orgasm. I highly recommend this episode because it has awesome information on every aspect of your sex life! When you’re done with this one, check out this Man Alive episode on how to embody your sexual power!
Links:
Connect with Alex
Connect with Shana James
Website: shanajamescoaching.com/3ways
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
Bio:
Alex Grendi is a sex coach who specializes in helping Men overcome Premature Ejaculation and Erectile Dysfunction so they can expand their pleasure for themselves and their partners, and deepen their love and connection with their partners. His philosophy of coaching combines ancient methods, practical exercises, a simple step by step process, direct coaching, and the support of a community of men who are on the exact same journey.
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#251: The Foundations of Heart Centered Sex and Sensuality – Dan Dore
When you integrate your heart into your sex life, not only does it go from what can feel like “fast food sex” to “gourmet sex,” it also becomes connected, healing and transformative. Today’s Man Alive podcast guest talks about bringing depth into sex and sensuality.
Show notes
The more I write about sex, and have conversations with clients, I see how much is possible in people’s sex lives that they don’t realize. I often find it hard to put words to what happens when sex is not just physical, but includes the emotional and energetic realms. When hearts open and deeply connect, and the body’s energetic channels open, intimacy can be healing, transformative, delicious and can even otherworldly.
Today’s Man Alive podcast Guest, Dan Dore, is the co-leader of the Good Guys to Great Men Programs. I asked him to talk with me about heart-centered sex and sensuality, or seen from another framing — creating your sex life from the depths. He put words to experiences that I don’t always have words for.
In our heartfelt conversation we discussed…
- Combining your heart and primal nature in your sex and sensual experiences
- What it means to become aligned, attuned and expanded
- What happens when we embrace “messy” as a doorway to connection and intimacy
- Bringing intention and agendalessness to sexual experiences
- How to be turned on without needing anything
At one point in our conversation Dan said, “If you don’t know your heart, you don’t know your sex.” I would agree that those who don’t know, or can’t open their heart, are having what I call “fast food sex” in my book, Honest Sex. We want you to have gourmet meals! So check out this episode if you want more connected and exciting sexual experiences.
When you’re done with this one, check out one of the first Man Alive episodes with Dan’s co-leader, Steve Horsmon on how having fantasies can make you a more sexually desirable man!
Links:
Connect with Dan
Connect with Shana James
Website: shanajamescoaching.com/3ways
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
Bio:
As a men’s coach, Dan Dore loves to show men how to boldly create the life, love & wealth they deserve.
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#244: What is Honest Sex? – Alyssa Morin
How does sex become great? In Shana’s new book, Honest Sex, she counters the common misperception that we are outgrowing marriage and long term relationships by bringing an issue she has found with her clients and her own relationships — many of us have not matured enough to create the emotionally-connected, sexually-satisfying relationships we long for. Honest sex is a pathway to deepen connection and keep relationships alive.
Show notes
As my book Honest Sex launches into the world, I have been more focused on sex than usual. We’ll go back to other topics in a bit, but I have two more Man Alive podcasts for you with powerful women who support men to have more satisfying sex. As you’ll see in my book, we all also expand the definition of sex. As you expand your perspective about sex it becomes more pleasurable, and you get to have more of it!
I LOVE the freedom and depth that happens in my conversations with other women who want you to have the sex and intimacy you want. In today’s Man Alive podcast, Alyssa Morin returns to talk about what we mean when we say “honest sex.” Alyssa is a somatic sex educator, relationship and intimacy guide, and founding faculty of the Institute for Erotic Intelligence.
In today’s conversation we discussed…
- What to do when sexual energy drops off (and why you don’t have to freak out)
- How to impact and influence the rhythms and cycles of sensuality
- Simple ways to foster excitement and turn-on
- Discovering what you want by following the body’s impulses
- The body-brain connection and scientific proof that you can trust and listen to your body
Links:
Connect with Alyssa
Connect with Shana James
Website: shanajamescoaching.com/3ways
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
Bio:
Alyssa Morin is a Somatic Sex Educator, Relationship and Intimacy Guide, and founding faculty of the Institute for Erotic Intelligence. She weaves mindfulness, embodiment, soulcraft, and practical information into her work with individuals, couples, and groups. She breaks down the complexity of pleasure, embodiment, and relationship (to self, other, and the World) into understandable, actionable parts and pieces that can be worked with and made sense of, without removing an ounce of the mystery and magic of the full erotic experience.
Nearly ten years of her own exploration in sexuality, conscious relating, soul-centric practices, and Zen have led to a multifaceted approach that is co-creative and emergent. Drawn to this field of work because of a complete lack of sexual education, combined with a lineage of sexual trauma and shadow, Alyssa creates community where people can come together to explore themselves and others, to learn together, and to demystify and embody their erotic selves on their own terms, and at their own pace, with support, challenge, and connection.
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Better Sex, Better Relationship with Shana James
A fascinating deep dive into sex and relationship. Some of the topics include…
What do the tears of men reveal about the conflict between men and women? What happens when someone gives you 100% permission to feel everything you feel? How do authenticity and vulnerability in men improve their romantic relationships?
How can men create more of a spark in their romantic relationship?
How does passion enter into men’s careers, dreams and ultimately, satisfaction with life?